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Preparing for Death: Jewish Values, Rites, Rituals, and Readings

Eliza Feller • May 16, 2022

End-of-Life Care and Rituals, from a Jewish Perspective

Many articles make note of the fact that as a society we have become distanced from death and dying. Some of this is due to enhanced medical interventions. Often, our loved ones are in hospitals, nursing homes, or hospice facilities during the end-of-life process. We may not be able to stay with them constantly and help them as they transition from life to death, or there may be limits on the number of people who can visit.


However, just as in many other things, Judaism provides some guidance and rituals to help bridge this divide. There are ways to support, comfort, and attend to a loved one on this journey - no matter where they may be. In this article, we rely heavily on the website
Ritualwell. The  posts we’ve selected provide explanations of the historical background of our traditions, as well as modern readings that may help bring us and those we love some comfort and peace. You’ll also find some recommendations for how to help friends and family as they go through this emotional and exhausting time.


The Why

To begin with, this post briefly addresses the fundamental ways we are obligated to treat someone nearing the end of their life, and why it is so important to be present with them as much as possible - whether by phone, video call, or in person  https://www.ritualwell.org/preparing-death 


Resources

There are both formal and alternative prayers and readings that are designed to be read on behalf of a loved one who is ill, with a loved one who is ill, or to provide some peace of mind and comfort to those accompanying a loved one who is dying. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and if you lean toward more spiritual and less observant, we encourage you to read and consider the meaning and importance behind these rituals so that you may inform any rituals you create on your own. 


  • This article from My Jewish Learning offers several options for prayers and readings, but also includes how to support the person who is ill or their family in non-prayer ways. Many of them are similar to helping a family following a loss.


  • The vidui is a traditional prayer for when someone’s death is imminent. Sometimes a rabbi will visit the person who is dying and recite it with them. Here is a brief explanation as well as the text of the traditional vidui.


  • Some may prefer a slightly more modern version of the vidui, and one option can be found here.


  • Perhaps you want some reassuring words to ask for peace for a person as they transition from this life. If so, you may find this reading comforting.



  • This National Institute on Aging article provides background on end-of-life care, rituals for comfort and connection whether through faith or family gatherings, and how to support caregivers.   


  • Many hospice organizations also provide support for caregivers and relatives, in addition to providing care for someone who is terminally ill. If a loved one is under hospice care, we encourage you to reach out about the services they offer.



In Conclusion

Judaism provides guidance in this phase of the life cycle and - no matter your level of observance - there are many prayers, readings, and suggestions for either honoring your loved one or supporting the family of someone who is dying. We hope this serves as a starting point for creating connection and comfort.


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