How do I handle sorting their estate without feeling overwhelmed?

Do not try to do it all at once. Break the process down into tiny, manageable tasks (e.g., "Today I will only look at one box of papers"). Ask a grounded friend to sit with you just for company while you work.

Is it common to feel angry at them?

Yes. Grief encompasses the full spectrum of your relationship. If your relationship was complicated or fraught, your grief will be complicated too. You can mourn the parent they were, and the parent you wished they had been.

Why am I grieving my parent differently than my siblings?

Every child has a distinct and individual relationship with their parent. You are each grieving a different bond. Some may focus on logic and estate matters, while others may be intensely emotional.

How do I cope with the loss of family traditions?

A parent's death often changes how holidays and gatherings look. It is okay to acknowledge that traditions will change. Consider adapting an old tradition or creating a new, simpler one that feels manageable for where you are now.

Grief Support

Parent Loss

For life after the death of a parent

Back to grief support

Whether it followed a long illness or happened suddenly, the death of a parent can unsettle your sense of family, history, and home. This can be true at any age.

What You May Be Feeling

The loss of a parent often brings complex shifts in identity and family structure.

The generational shift: You may suddenly realize that you are now the "older generation." This realization can bring a quiet, heavy sense of mortality and responsibility.
Sibling dynamics: Grief can strain or strengthen adult sibling relationships. You may find that you each grieve differently and need different things right now.
Mixed emotions: If you were a long-term caregiver, you may feel sorrow alongside relief that their suffering—and the demands of caregiving—have ended. Mixed feelings are common and do not diminish your love.

Things That May Help

The days following a parent's death can be overwhelming with logistics. Consider these practical approaches:

Divide the duties: If you have siblings or a support system, split up the immediate tasks. One person handles phone calls, another manages meals, and someone else handles the estate paperwork.
Record family history: Before details fade, write down the stories, recipes, or phrases your parent frequently used.
Keep a tradition alive: Continue something they loved—whether it is watching their favorite team, cooking a holiday meal, or tending a garden.
Write them a letter: Put down the things left unsaid, the apologies, the gratitude, and the ways you miss them.
Pause before discarding: The task of sorting a parent's home is massive. Box up items and wait a few months before making final decisions on what to keep, donate, or discard.

Questions Families Often Ask

Books & Guides for Families

These selections offer clear language, thoughtful activities, and practical ways to support yourself or someone you love.

Dougy Center Bookstore

Resources for people who are grieving

Books and practical materials for adults who are grieving and for family members who want to offer useful support.

View at Dougy Center

JCS Mitchell David Center for Hope & Healing

Talking with a child about a grandparent's death

A brief family guide for honest conversations, shared feelings, and helping children understand what has happened.

Open family guide

When More Support May Help

Seek support if family conflicts regarding the estate or their passing become unmanageable and consume your daily life, or if you are dealing with deep, persistent guilt that prevents you from functioning.

This page is informed by and adapted from resources provided by the Dougy Center.